Since becoming a mother, I have made it a priority to instill self-confidence into my 3 yr old son. Why? Because there’s nothing that pulls at your heart more than seeing your child cowering back when they are faced with rejection or they approach certain challenges with less enthusiasm because the task is unfamiliar and they don’t feel they can successfully complete it. This in turn has lead me to think about what I can do as a parent to instill self confidence in him so he can take on the world with his head held high.
Why is confidence important?
- Having a positive view of one’s self allows you to feel self-assured and be self-efficient, in turn you will take pride in your work.
- You are more likely to stand up for yourself and others.
- You are more likely to build self-sustaining relationships
- Confidence leads to motivation to try new things and the possibility of making mistakes is less threatening.
Tips: Here are some tips I found on how to instill confidence in your children! (At the end of this post is also a list of books you can check out on the topic!)
- Ensure they know your love is unconditional!
“The way we see our kids (or the way our kids believe we see them) has a profound impact on the way they see themselves.” Make it clear to them that you love and care for them even if they make mistakes or poor decisions, and avoid harshly criticizing or shaming them.” – Big Life Journal
- Lead by Example!
“Instruction is good for a child; but example is worth more.”- Alexandre Dumas .Parents are their children’s first examples in this world and whether you realize it or not they are watching EVERYTHING and they look up to you. So model confidence! Show them how to respond in different situations good and bad and they will follow suit.
- Let them know that sometimes they will make mistakes!
Mistakes are inevitable, so instead of running away from them, teach your child(ren) to embrace them and let them know that they do not define who they are. As infants when we first began to walk, we may have fell a lot but we got right back up and gave it another try. You may fall a thousand times but you have to get back up and try again! Furthermore, it is of the utmost importance to exercise patience and grace when they do make mistakes!
“I know that I feel absolutely giddy whenever I receive a compliment. Especially if it’s one about how well behaved my kids are. So its stands to reason that kids would feel the same as well right? I try to praise my children as much as possible. No matter how big or small, I want them to know that I think they are doing a great job, and how proud of them I am. Remind your child (ren) as much as possible of their worth, so that they will know early on, and know not to accept less than from themselves or anyone else.”-gritsngrace.com
- Help them set goals and accomplish them:
Show them how to properly plan and help them reach their goal. Make sure they have the proper tools and have a clear understanding of what the goal is. This will allow them to see that they are capable and help them to trust in their abilities.
- Teach rather than critique
One of our biggest parenting challenges is how to teach rather than simply critique. Teaching means coaching and encouraging. It means asking questions and giving kids a chance to use logic to solve a problem, plan, schedule and carry out a goal. To critique simply means to review the final outcome. No parent is perfect, and I know I’m far from it, but raising confident kids means helping him or her discover, learn and grow from each experience. Whether you’re a homeschool teacher, a stay-at-home mom or dad, or a full-time working parent, you’re still a teacher. All parents are. Use this gift to help your kids grow and develop into their fullest potential.
7. Give them your attention
“I can’t stress enough how important it is to make time to give your child your full attention. Much like playtime, it boosts your child’s feelings of self-worth by sending the message that you think they’re important and valuable.”
- During this time make sure you make eye contact so it’s clear that you’re listening.
- If they need to talk, stop and listen to what they have to say so they know that their thoughts and feelings matter.
- Help them get comfortable with their emotions by accepting without judgement and share your own feelings to help them gain confidence in expressing their own.
Check out this list of books on Self Confidence as well!